Victoria Hospital, Bangalore

photo: The Hindu

Everyone who has been to Victoria Hospital knows how pathetic the conditions are. Well, the dental unit has the best facilities. And in most cases it is helpful to the poor. Not everyone can afford the expenses at multi specialty hospitals. So Victoria Hospital has people from all over the state 24/7. It's a Government Hospital. Any police case goes straight to the Government Hospital. That's the rule. I visited the Victoria Hospital Mortuary for the first time a couple of days back. All the disturbing images there have given me sleepless nights. The clothes covering the dead bodies are dumped right in front of the mortuary. The foul smell is spread across a large area. There is also a guard to the mortuary and he has two innocent kids with his wife. The kids play where those clothes are dumped. There are blood stains everywhere. Negative energy never dies. Those kids are no strangers to disturbing images of people crying and shouting. Dead bodies are just another addition in the environment. Blood is not feared. Police, media, murderers, robbers - the kids are growing up watching all this. I'm concerned. I'm also helpless.

There are guidelines written on the walls of the mortuary both in Kannada and in English. It stresses that no money is charged for postmortem reports and that it's done free of cost in an hour of the submission of police reports. But I saw money given and taken under the table without counting. At the hour of grief, the person has to bribe the officers to get the body of their loved ones. How ridiculous can it get? How insensitive can people be? I was totally aware of what was happening. I can't pretend not to have seen what actually happened. People who have money will easily give money and get their work done. But what about those who can't afford? Why is the system so unfair to the poor? I'm concerned. I'm helpless again.

Life as it is...

Death! Death is a part of LIFE they say. But I know how difficult it is to accept death as a part of life. Over the past few years I have seen many tragedies in my family. Both my grandmothers passing away were the first couple of blows I clearly remember. I cried. I cried everyday when my dad's mom passed away. It was a hard blow. She was the closest to me. I still love her more than anyone else. Life IS difficult without her. She was probably the only person I was attached to. Very attached indeed. My mom's mom wasn't very close to me. She was a very orthodox person, more than the other Granny. But I still cried when she passed away. Both deaths happened in successive years in the same dark room in my house. It was difficult to come out of it. My dad's mom was a writer. She has written about 11 books on mythology. No, I'm not bragging. I'm telling you that she was an informed person. she used to teach me Kannada whenever I listened to her. I used to go places with her. I knew all her friends. I used to go to all the spiritual discourses she attended. I slept next to her. I ate only if she fed me. I loved her. I still do. I troubled her a lot. I know I was a monster. I stole the pens she wrote with. I stole her papers. I stole her mint. I loved her. I still do. I wish she was with me till today. I miss her. I really do.

In 3rd and 4th grades I lost both my grannies. But I still didn't know what death was like. I was a kid. An ignorant kid. Later, I saw another death. that of my cousin. I was shocked. I didn't cry. Another death followed in the family. I began to wonder what the other world would be like. There has been a series of deaths in the family since then. Yesterday also there was one. I now begin to wonder if I have become numb to death. I express no strong grief these days. Yes, I felt sad for a few minutes. But it wasn't difficult to overcome. As already mentioned, I have seen quite a number of deaths. Every time I saw people flowing in to share the sorrow of the family at loss, I started to wonder if it was just for formality sake. People spoke of all the good things about the dead person whether they liked them or not. There were stories describing how nice the person was. Stories describing how lucky the person was. People usually come in from all parts of the world. I overheard my uncle speak yesterday. He was saying that there was no need of political correctness. I saw a point there. A few laughed at him behind his back. Touch your heart and ask yourself...wasn't what he said correct? Why do we put on a mask? why show that you are sad when you actually aren't? why not be true to yourself?

I, personally, haven't connected to anyone as I have to my Granny and to a certain extent my parents. I might trouble them but I love them. I don't have that sort of connection with anyone else. I can never love anyone as much as I loved my Granny. She meant the world to me. Tears roll down my cheeks every time I think of her. But no emotion is evoked when I think of anyone else. I'm just being honest. Let's face it. Let's leave everything to the person who controls all this. Let's leave it to the Almighty. We just have to be true to what we are. We shouldn't fool ourselves. Let's not fake emotions. It won't take us anywhere.

Change in the name...

As Romeo says...what's in a name?

but as far as I'm concerned, everything is in the name.

When I first started blogging, I didn't know what to name my blog. Even now I can't think of a title which defines me and my blog and my writing. It's a hard thing. So I decided to erase the old title - 'PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN'. why? because I don't think there's a need to showcase my love for India. When I decided I'll change the name, I still didn't know what title I'll be giving my blog. Since it's a personal blog I came up with known terms like My passion, My Dreams, My Ideas....So I clubbed them and named it - My Ideas; My World; My Pride!

One might wonder...why semi colons and why exclamation at the end. semi colon often gives you enough time to reflect and the exclamatory mark shows how obsessed I am with myself. I'm sure many of you disliked the title...let me know why.

Regards.

Meeting the 'Aam Aadmi'...

I was assigned a project in my University. Being a Media student I had to talk to the Auto drivers in the city and present a report in their angle. I interviewed many of them…a few co-operated; a few didn’t. It was one experience I’ll remember all my life. For the first time I was asked to go there and do something which not everyone would think of. The term ‘Aam Aadmi’ has over the years lost its true meaning. Everyone is an aam aadmi these days. Politicians use it everyday. Journalists use the term to describe anyone who does not belong to the Upper Class. But, I’m happy I met the REAL ‘aam aadmi’. Auto driver is the one who serves everyone without getting any credit whatsoever. All that he gets is the meter money with reluctance. No gratitude, not enough support from the Government either.

The day I entered the University for my Graduation I couldn’t connect to the crowd there. A few call it a culture shock. I’m not too sure as to what that means though. One thing I never liked was the hugs and kisses everywhere. Some hundred hugs a day and a few kisses blown to each other is a common sight in the campus. I always found it pointless. I still don’t get the idea behind it. Why do you have to hug and kiss people when there’s no special occasion whatsoever? I wonder! But when I met the auto drivers, I truly felt like giving a ‘jaadu ki jhappi’ to all of them. They were a wonderful lot. A 65 year old Iyengari was trying to explain to me how it feels to OWN an auto. I could see in his eyes he was happy with his life. 40-45 years of experience in driving auto. Woah! That’s something that people of this generation would like to learn – sticking on to one profession all your life.

One encounter in particular interested me more than any other. We all know that the number of farmers is on a decrease. I met one auto driver who had given up on farming to settle down in Bengaluru. He comes from a place called Mandya near Mysore. He came to Bengaluru to earn a living. There was drought in Mandya which lasted more than 8 years and his father couldn’t support the huge family. That was when our auto driver worked as a room boy somewhere in the city. Later he went on to drive auto for others and now he owns an auto. He now has two children who go to Government schools. He is happy that his children are getting what he couldn’t – square meals a day and education! There's a lot to learn from people like them, isn't it? The moment I heard the story, I was touched. We are indeed a privileged lot. We should be thankful to God for all that he has given us.