the answer is within…

I’m at the peak of cognitive dissonance. That is when there’s a discrepancy between your ideal self and your real self. Looking at my constant dissonance my parents are concerned, so am I.

I do not know what I want. I do not know what I need inside myself. I do not know what I need outside myself either. I know I want to learn. But I don’t know where to go.

My father always tells me [more so now than before] that work is worship. He believes that whatever work you are assigned is to be done with utmost devotion and sincerity. God will be pleased by your work and not just by you going to the temple and offering your prayers. Praise him through your work. Surrender to him. How? By accepting all the work that comes your way because that is the purpose with which Hari has sent you here.

My argument has always been that…why will Hari send us here to do materialistic work? Do we gain his anugraha by doing our work or is it regardless of how we work? Aren’t we all here to take the righteous path of jnaana bhakti and virakti? Jnaana, bhakti, virakti are but a pratibimba of the Lord himself. If we are drowned in worldly matters how can we embark on a wonderful sattvic journey?

All this conflict is negated the moment we believe ‘nAham kartA hariH kartA'

“All despair is followed by hope; all darkness is followed by sunshine.”

the beauty called mind...

My thoughts used to run wild and my stomach craved for anything and everything I saw. I wanted to control my mind. So, all this while I was madly in search of that place where no mind stays or goes.

Today, I have understood how important the mind is. I have learnt to honour it. I didn't create the mind. It has always been there. It is immortal like the soul. It has something very charming in it. The mind connects everything. It gives meaning to life. Yes, it's the mind that wanders in all directions and causes grief. But, it's the same mind that removes us from the world of appearances and guides us to the real world of bhakti and jnaana.

The rather new gift, as I keep saying, that I have received is the religion that I was born into. It is never too late to know, explore, learn, and live. When I used to say, I want to control my mind...it was the ego speaking. CONTROL - should have told me the story but it didn’t.

Now, I can see how beautiful a creation the mind is. God has given me a mind like he has given you a mind. My mind and your mind can obviously not work on the same conditions. But by understanding that everything is given to us by Him and that He is the Lord of all, there will be peace in the world.

"Religion is not a department of life; it is something that enters the whole of it."

I’m only hoping that my mind grows in the direction that it is growing. I hope and pray that religion is not ‘just a phase’ of my life…but my life itself.

|| मम स्वामि हरिर्नित्यं सर्वस्य पतिरेवच ||