As I return to the world that lets me withdraw as and
when I like, I look back and wonder what I’ve assimilated over the one year
that passed by working at different places.
One
thing that doesn’t change no matter where you go is the way people constantly
try to impress one another. It makes me feel as though we are a generation born
out of/ into insecurities. Always trying to update our facebook statuses and
talk fashion or literature as though our souls hang on the approval of others.
In
fact, I think we are a generation of “others”. There’s no 'We' or 'I' in the
doing. There’s always this passive watcher or a voyeur we’re so fully aware of.
The past one year has confirmed this further.
Going
back to college has in a way reminded me of the old days in the non a/c public
buses. I’ve heard people say “reality stinks”. It sure does. Quite literally
here!
Exotic
cologne mixed air in the bus will be replaced by musk flavoured deo sprayed
college students’ body odour blended with the sweat of others and dung stuck
shoes of some others. And of course, not to mention the jasmine thick air that
lingers all day long.
No
more laptop and phone busy people in the bus but those trying hard enough to
hold on to the iron rods that’ll survive them the next sudden brake. As they
get down, the smell of the rusting rods follow them as a reminder of where they
stand in the hierarchy of things.
No
more poor and confused oldies mistaking the a/c for a non a/c and having forced
to pay thrice of what they would have otherwise. It perhaps means they will miss a square
meal to hold on to their abstract idea of dignity that no one seems to really care
about.
It’s
time to get used to the sight of bare feet and thank god for the lack of
clacking shoes.
I will miss the glimpses of people from the back high
seat of the Volvo. They look at you and don't even forgetfully smile at you.
And if you do, they feel threatened. I will miss seeing the children’s [of
lesser earning families] eyes glow as they step in and feel the cool on a hot
sunny day. I wish I could appreciate life like they do. I wish I had the
ability to see the universe in the everyday.
