hold on and let go; all at once?

I was suddenly taken aback by all the noise around and chaotic people everywhere. “I was one of them a minute ago.” The thought wouldn’t let me digest my reality. I was shattered. Tears. How easily I let them flow. Was I hurt? Not sure.

The universe conspired in my favour this time. I chanced upon the movie August Rush! Music. Beauty. Love. Do I feel all that anymore? The Magic! Has it been replaced by something mechanical? Or Does it still remain hidden somewhere? It’s like I have these moments of bliss and it disappears into nothingness. And I can’t stop thinking that it’s me who has forced it to disappear. So can I force it back into being? Whatever happened to the essence of emptiness that I was completely drowned into!? [why does “into” sound deeper than plain “in” I wonder.]

© Vimal

I should let go of things, masters of life would say. But for me, I think it’s about holding on to things as much as letting them go. It’s all about striking the almost perfect balance. Right? It shouldn’t be too perfect either. For it would suck the vibrance out of the colours. I should [perhaps] hold on to the eye for beauty but let go of the cynic’s view. I should hold on to my grand ideas [that are mostly borrowed] on capitalism and the likes and at the same time let go of inhibitions about the self, the other and the imagined. (?)