of futures and presents; of controls and wills

▫    Your credentials are better than what we were looking for. . .

▫    Your attitude and personality -> brilliant, keep it going!

▫    It was indeed a pleasure meeting you. We wish you the best for your career ahead.

▫    We loved you, BUT our big boss...

▫    Our institution hired someone else, would you be interested in my new start up?

▫    You are best suited for the job, BUT our head is looking for experience.

▫    Sorry, in spite of your credentials you don’t fit into what we were looking for.

▫   Sorry for now. However, we’ll keep in touch with you in case we have anything that suits you.

That’s how my Job hunt has been so far.

I had a psychic friend once. And she told me it won’t be easy. I didn't ask her but how could she hide what was in store. She told me it won’t be easy. I despised her for it seemed as though she had more control over my future than I did.

I made a huge fuss to go to the interviews. I’d somehow convince myself with the help of closed ones to go there and give the answers they liked.

Why us, they’d ask.

Because it’s YOU, I’d grin half-heartedly.

Then they’d decide my worth and stamp me a reject after a marathon meet. It’d all end with a loud cloud of tears within.

That’s how my job hunt has been so far.

I told my mom this is not what we are here for. And she said, that’s how it has been for generations. I’d disagree and she’d blame the Government. How do I explain where I stand?

I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint…it has to do with creating and sharing.  Bill Hicks

I simply cannot believe in buying happiness. When my mom accepts defeat because we are “oh middle class”, I feel defeated to have been born. I feel sorry that my actions don’t reflect the value-rich childhood my parents have given me.

6-7-8 lackadaisical attempts to find a job and I feel unworthy already. I do realise that it doesn’t matter in the larger scheme of things. Maybe the best is still in store. I won’t let things take control over me. I shall put in my effort. The rest is left to greater forces.

.... that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

tennyson